Ted’s essays

monster cookies

My daughter-in-law requested a cookie recipe I developed over 20 years ago. I delivered. Of course I still have it. I LOVE those cookies… they are delicious, healthy, hearty … and fattening (oops).

Perhaps in moderation …
Much like me with cafe’-racer motorcycles, I don’t seem to know about moderation with awesome cookies.
So I don’t make them.

In our correspondence, she responded that the ingredients specified, and I suppose natural foods in general, are expensive.
She does have a very large family to feed. Monetary expenditures are certainly a necessary consideration.

She is also responsible for their transportation…
with the same family-size considerations.
Little economy cars are simply not going to work.

Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

There are some people who do find ways to haul the family around at a reduced cost.

old_and_decrepit_jalopy_car_in_the_streets_of_buenos_aires_argentinaTo me this is very much a related decision.

What you put your body in,
or your children’s bodies in,
makes for a good comparison or contrast against
what you put in their bodies.

Of course one you see quite clearly, while the other kind-of disappears … or at least is more out-of-sight unless you work at noticing the impact of nutritional choices.

It takes no study at all to choose between which of these vehicles you would rather haul your kids around in. Seat belts, reliability and numerous other factors favor the expensive choice.

oreo ingredientsBut what about your food choices?

What are you putting inside of them?

Alright now, let’s set about making some cookies. First we place the ingredients on the kitchen counter. (You might want to wear safety glasses and chemical-resistant gloves)

2 1/2 cups of chemically-refined GMO sugar beetsO cookies
2 cups of bleached GMO wheat with the wheat germ refined out
1 3/4 cups high oleic canola oil processed with alkali
1 1/2 cups high fructose corn syrup
1/4 cup calcium phosphate
2 tablespoons Niacin
1 tablespoon powdered iron
2 teaspoons thiamine mononitrate
2 teaspoons each: cornstarch, salt, soy lecithin, vanilla
plus some unspecified mystery ingredient called “artificial flavor” bought from Guido in an alley off Wall Street.


We have some inexpensive cookies for the family

Okay, I don’t actually know the quantities that go into these sweetened grease sandwiches. The confession panel gives the order by weight, not the actual quantities. Please don’t try to make cookies with the above ingredient list.

But do consider the many wonderful differences between them and what you would get following the recipe below.

Dad’s Universally Acknowledged Greatest Cookies Ever Created

1 1/4 cups (2 ½ sticks) Horizon unsalted organic butter
1/2 cup Sucanat
3/4 cup C&H golden brown cane sugar (packed)
2 fresh organic eggs from range chickens
1 tbs Cooks organic vanilla
2 1/4 cups organic whole wheat flour
1 tsp Arm & Hammer baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon
½ tsp Hain evaporated sea salt
1/4 tsp nutmeg
2 cups quick oats
1 cup raw, unsalted, organic nuts, chopped fine (almonds, walnuts, cashews …)
3/4 cup (9 oz. pkg) Sunspire organic chocolate chips, frozen

preheat oven to 375
soften butter to or near melting (leave in sun or warm place for an hour or two)
place butter and sugars in mixing bowl and cream until light and smooth
add eggs and vanilla and beat in
in a separate bowl, mix flour, soda, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg
add to batter and mix well
mix in oats and nuts
add frozen chocolate chips and mix just until distributed evenly
scoop with serving spoon into left hand and make golf-ball sized dough balls
plop onto cookie sheet leaving at least their width between ‘em
bake at 375 for 11 minutes (maybe shorter if your cookies are smaller than mine)
cool on cookie sheet for 12 minutes, transfer to cooling rack for another 10

If you are forced to make substitutions you will probably end up with merely good cookies.

Of course tasters who haven’t enjoyed Dad’s Universally Acknowledged Greatest Cookies Ever Created will probably find them the best cookies they’ve ever had, but those in the know will only smile graciously and express polite platitudes regarding the results of your hard work.

Try to avoid making a meal out of them alone as they only represent 2 of the food groups.
However, with one serving each of fruit & vegetable,,,Voilà! Balanced diet!
Say, for example, a strawberry milkshake and a sprig of parsley.